On the very first day I met him, I felt so many butterflies in my stomach. Honestly, I didn’t understand myself at that moment.
We fell in love in each other on that day. The race and the culture differences could not stop us. I, by then spoke a very poor German and he spoke no English.
The only way we could communicate was through gestures and mimics. Neither could that stop us too. I always had a pocket-dictionary in my handbag and had to check every second word I wanted to say, or check the meaning of what he told me.
It was challenging as well as exciting.
We ended up exchanging the “Yes I Do” words in year 2003. Another chapter opened in my life. OMG, Grace you are now a wife to a white boy – a German!!! I asked myself innocently.
Have you ever wondered how things happened to you and your life? That was me wondering. Just the other day I was a village girl in one of the remotest area in Kenya, and there I was committing myself into a marriage, in a totally different world than where I had grown up.
Our marriage had not involved a lot of courtship before, and so there was a lot to learn about each other and from each other.
I came to understand that just being in love with each other is not the end of it all. Marriage is a lifetime process that requires more than just “Love”.
We had a lot of differences, not only in our way of thinking but also in our way of communicating with each other. It came to a point where we couldn’t communicate any more, every second sentence was misunderstood by either one of us.
I had to learn how to communicate with my husband. I had to be careful with how, and which words to use to phrase my questions. Thanks, be to God for giving me wisdom in this one.
Communication is one very important aspect in marriages, although mostly ignored or assumed.
I believe that the issue is not even the colour differences, neither the culture differences. Whoever you will choose to marry, there will be better and worse times. There will always be some boundaries between the both of you.
Unconditional love simply means that no matter which boundaries, you are both ready to work on them. Sticking to each other and accepting that nobody is perfect.
I learnt to do away with a lot of those things that made my husband angry. The issue with punctuality for example, which was a culture-thing. If it is 2pm, let it be 2pm Grace, and not a day after. Just the look in his eyes told it all that I was late…oouch!
It has been a process of me trying to change my “Kikuyu” way of demonstrating affection. Oh my… Someone help me please. 😉
I thought that words were enough to do magic. Pecks, hugs and kisses were for me in only private dark corners, where nobody is watching. C’mon Grace!
I have learnt that, “actions will always speak louder than words”.
Considering thirteen years now, I can look behind and see how far we have come together.
A stranger turned to be the man I adore and admire. The Man who has helped me conquer the culture shock in German, the man who always believed in me. He asked for nothing and gives me everything, to see I am fine. I call him my husband.
It is not easy to get along with homesick and living so far from my family. Sometimes you have to give up on some things, in order to get the best. I am happy and I can count it as a blessing.
Fact is, Home will always be Home. I miss you my lovely daddy, brothers, my only sister, nieces and nephews, my extended family-members, friends, neighbours, as well as my community in Kenya.
However, my marriage has opened my mind and my horizon. I have learnt a lot of the German-culture. I am more open to people and I have a top level of self-confidence.
We have not only seen ourselves grow older physically, but deeper in our spiritual life too. We have surrendered our life to God. We both desire to be God’s vessels and to be a blessing to many and to YOU too.
“We have let our marriage look less than the world and more like Christ.”
Thanks for reading till the end. I trust you have gotten some value out of this blog. I will appreciate your comment, sharing, opinions likes and love.
With much love
I grew up in a christian family, and I attended christians schools and college the whole of my life. I went to the church every Sunday, just to be a part of the audiences. I was a church nomadic, trying to fit in any of the churches.
I preferred catholics for they appeared holier than the rest of the christians. I loved their style too.
Christian Religion Education (C.R.E) was not my best subject in school. I hated describing stories, that I didn’t understand their meaning anyway.
Despite the fact that I had a good christianity background, none of these things made me understand what it really meant to be a christian. But one thing was for sure, I feared God so much. I knew He does exist but I avoided any intimacy with him.
I was made to believe that He is a God of the “DO NOT’s”. I believed that God punishes people, and He got a lot of rules and regulations.
I am that person who liked breaking rules (if you don’t believe me, ask my schoolmates.), and that is one of the reasons why I did not want any close relationship with this God.
It took me exactly 30 years to finally understand, that it is not about me being perfect, and not about having the right behaviour.
I don’t believe in coincidences and luck anymore, for exactly on my birthday my life got transformed. I never knew I could get all this crazy about God, and I am so in love with Jesus.
I believe in Godincidences.
My life could never get any better lively than now. I was living a life full of myths. God is love and he created us in his own Image.
So we are all love. A crazy thing to believe in, but trust me this is real.
In October 2013, I got my salvation through a double healing. Yes, God set me free from severe knee-pain, (thanks be to God, I can still wear my high heels now) and from some chronic abdominal pain.
I had never believed in healing, neither was my intention closer to receiving a healing miracle, of which I was not aware I had deserved it long time ago. “Halleluya”
God works in wonderful ways. I had done nothing good before, and to be sincere I was full of sins. I was a prodigal daughter, whom God was longing to bring back home.
My God who can be your God too, arrested me and I fell on his mercy, exactly on the 13th of October – my birthday.
I needed to know more about this God who had just healed a wretch like me. I got so hungry for him, and I think he purposely increased the desire in me, and nothing could still my hunger for him. He can be jealous too. I listened to thousands of sermons in a week. Nothing could stop me any more.
I read the New Testament in less than one week’s time, which is a great achievement for me. I hated reading books, but the Gospel is the first book I read without being forced, and without skipping pages. I couldn’t get enough of it. I made a vow to myself that, I either believe everything in the bible or I leave it.
Many are complicating Christianity and defining it, the way it is not supposed to be. It is the simplest thing that I have ever heard of. I am not talking about religion. It’s about having a relationship with God and knowing the truth.
I don’t have to be perfect, and I can never be perfect anyway. God has changed me, removed that bad girl with bad attitudes out of me, and made me new. He has cleansed my heart in a way that nobody can hurt me any longer.
So don’t try me. 😉
Nevertheless, christianity is not just saying a prayer and disappearing to heaven, or getting your problems solved immediately. It is not about being good and getting praises.
Christianity is a process of learning how to obey, which honestly speaking I have never been good at. I am learning to listen and obey God each and every day of my life.
Sometimes I find myself urging with him, because I don’t want to do that what he exactly want me to do, at a specific moment. I remember how on one day I had just come home after work, and I was in a haste to prepare a dinner for my husband.
But God said I should go and pray. We had just moved in a new house and I was privileged to make one room my prayer room. God insisted I should go to that room and pray.
Oh God, please let me first cook and I will do that later, I kept arguing. He however, kept pressing it too much inside me and I decided to obey. I first went into my bedroom to pick up my bible and I was like, oh I can also say a prayer here in my bedroom, since going to my prayer room was nagging me.
God is God, he still insisted I should go to that prayer room. I finally obeyed him fully.
Immediately I opened that prayer room door, heat embraced me. Jesus!
I had ironed a shirt in that room a night before, and left the iron heating overnight and the whole day… Come and see me trembling…OMG!!!
This is God wanting to rescue me from a disaster, and there I was arguing with him.
Jesus have mercy on me!
The only prayer I could say was, “God, please forgive me for not obeying. I praised him the whole of that evening and I will continue praising him for the rest of my life.
God has rescued me from many other dangerous situations. I have a load of testimonies to tell.
This transformation could not have come at any other better timing in my life. I now understand christianity better. I have found my identity. I am yet to get a PHD in my faith, but thanks God for the masters. I walk fearless for the one who is inside me is stronger than the one in the world.
I don’t go preaching and I am not a pastor either. I just decided to follow God. My goal is to be christ-like-lady, and a doer of the word of God…God help me!
I want people to know they are lovable, and see themselves the way God sees them. I do love people unconditionally, just like God loves me.