Damn Hard to Love Others! Right?

Dear reader,

I am writing this out of a question that one of those I coach asked me. “Grace, how do you manage to love others unconditionally?

Well, it is damn hard to love people especially if they don’t belong to our bloodline. I am talking about real love to strangers without expecting anything back from them.

True love has been misinterpreted. True love is much more deeper than just some kind of an emotion thing.

One of my greatest desire is to love others without letting emotions to control me, not to end up acting maliciously to those who do wrong to me. Hard thing! It requires an extra portion of the grace of God.

I want to share with you some tips on what helps me to love others on daily basis and uncondditionally.

1. God is my source of love philosophy: I have tried to love others by myself and my own power. My energy was drained out and most of the times I was very much disappointed, cos I ran short of love. (“gimme love, gimmie love” was the motto!) You see, when you give somebody something, you must be having a source of that something you are giving. God is my source of love. HE is LOVE and HE created me in His Own Image. His love is not based on how good we are and perfect we try to be, nor on emotions or feelings. He fuels my heart with tonnes of compassionate love to share with others. Since then, I said goodbye to going short of love and never worry about love any longer! What is your source of love?

2. From a chameleon lifestyle to my true-identity: My heart was full of emptiness and a false selfhood and if you asked me whom I was, I had no answers to this question. (Today I can only weep on remembering this) It was easy to fit in and showcase in a wrong identity. Deep down inside me I could feel how my real self was neglected. Therefore, my love for others was based on liking, conditions and of course, the desire of wanting to be loved back.  Walking in my real identity has made me authentic. It has built my self-confidence by accepting myself the way God created me, and living by what God says I am. It makes love for others flow freely out of me. A chameleon changes its skin depending on the surrounding, in order to fit in and please others. Are you one of the chameleons or are you true to yourself?

3. Self-love: There is much more to read in my blog about my self-realization. I wrote about learning to love myself. I believe you cannot give others what you don’t owe. Loving myself makes me treat others, the way I would like myself to be treated by others . Simply living by I’m Ok, You’re Ok philosophy! Please visit my archive for more on this topic.

If God is in me, I believe that HE uses my eyes to see others the way HE sees them. There is nothing that we can do to separate us from His Love. So, even if someone does me wrong, I still love them. Lord have mercy on me!

after all, hatred is a heavy burden to bear. It injures both the hater ad the hated! Choose well!

Your opinion is highgly appreciated.

I will always love you.

Yours Grace

C’MON MEN DON’T CRY, BUT REAL MEN DO CRY!

Hallo reader,

does a man/male got to “swallow” his tears of joy or pain? Does he got to hide and struggle not to cry when crying would be the only way to be relieved? Simply because somebody said that “men don’t cry?” Simply because tears from a man, are considered as a sign of weakness.

I don’t know about you, but as I was growing up, I heard this saying being repeated now and then to the boys who surrounded me. “You are a man, boys don’t cry.” Even when the youngest boy was hurt badly on any part of his body, he was told not to cry.

Moms and dads please share with me your advises. Is your boy – child allowed to cry and allowed to be a child? Tears are not a threat to your masculinity. You are still a man. Not crying does not make you a hyper-masculine either. Don’t be deceived!

I am sure that, you as a man goes through some hard times, some unbearable moments and some pain! Don’t you?? Feel free to express your emotions naturally and cry. It is healthy to cry. To me crying is a sign of strength and another form of communicating. So, cry, cry, cry, boy!

What is your opinion? What defines your masculinity?

I love you,
yours Grace.