Hallo reader,
Well, Mr. Google tells me that more than one million “selfies” are made on a single day. Have you become a selfie-holic? Lord have mercy! Nevertheless, most of these selfies are not the truest expression of oneself from within.
The desire to be liked and to please others has totally messed up with the beauty of the innermost self. As a result, you end becoming a victim of others. You fear experiencing shame and loose face before others. You live a life of fighting to meet the expectations of others. *Sad*
What if I were to tell you that you possess an authentic purpose, which will never manifest on a fake foundation, would you then fight the right battle? The battle to be the truest innermost selfie of yourself?
Being authentic is honouring to be the person that God created you to be. However, this does not just happen overnight. It is a process of acceptance, admitting your insecurities and acknowledging them. Accepting to work, invest and develop in your true persona.
Out of my own experience, being authentic is admirable, healthy, productive and very much rewarding. Just try it and let God guard you.
Tips: Start by speaking the truth, forgiving, letting go of things that are not adding value to your life.
“To be yourself in this world which is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ~ Ralph Waldo ~
I love you,
yours Grace
Hallo reader,
how much time and energy do you invest in judging others? If I tell you that I have never done it, I will be 100% lying to you. I have done it again and again and without thinking twice!
It is easy to point a finger at others, judge them, blame them, demoralize them and even criticise them. You only forget that by pointing a finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you. This is for me a clear declaration that, you are either a part of the problem, or you are causing a bigger problem to the initial one.
Worse still, is that we are not even better than “others” whom we go pointing fingers at. Are you?
Well, I don’t know about you, but I took time to go through a reality check of my own wholeness. I have learned that it is not through pointing fingers at others that will solve a problem, nor make the world a better place to live in.
Have you ever thought of doing yourself reality check to your self – wholeness?? How pure is your heart? Please be honest with yourself when answering this question. A sincere answer is all for your own good.
It is the highest time that you started acknowledging the potholes in your heart and deal with them thoroughly. I am talking about potholes like anger, jealousy, envy, hatred, ungratefulness, unforgiveness, insecurity, selfishness, abusive, and the company of many other negative emotions that are occupying unnecessary space in your heart.
True happiness does not come from external sources. Stop focusing on this anyway, if you don’t want to ruin your sweet future. Focus on getting a pure heart, and a top level of the best wholeness possible.
Nevertheless, remember that you cannot drive out darkness with darkness, only light can do that. Stop being part of the problem by getting rid of those potholes in your hearts. Replace them with love.
When you start loving from within and being honest to your selfhood, you will allow yourself the opportunity of being happy by creating a smart future.
More so, you and I know that God’s desire for us is to have a pure heart. “Blessed and happy are the pure in heart.” To me, being pure in heart simply means working on our hearts potholes constantly and having a honest self-awareness.
The naked truth when you judge others is as a result of your insecurity. It reflects who you are and how unhappy you are with yourself. Demoralizing others tend to give you some fake satisfaction and a fake “feeling good” emotion.
I can feel your desire to change. Oh yes, don’t wait any longer. Ask God to transform you to a Version 2.0 of the person He created you to be! Focus on your own freind my dear reader! Have fun in your journey.
I love you,
yours Grace
Seeing a happily married couple does not mean that magic happened in their life, for their marriage to be healthy. Of course, no, there is a big battle to fight behind every successful marriage. Yes, there is nothing like “A-Good-Ready Made-Marriage”.
Looking back through my marriage life, we have both learnt a lot from each other. We have had tough times together, we have fought and exchanged harsh words! There are days I felt like raising my red flag and say, “It was never meant to be”
So, what have I learnt?
After fourteen years of marriage I have realized that you can never change someone else. It is not even in your role of a wife/husband either. Trying to fix each other will drive both of you damn crazy.
I want to be honest with you like a sister or a brother. I have tried to change him, but the more I tried the tougher it got. I was good at recording a list of his flaws in my mind. For example, when I’d come home and find some cutlery standing in the kitchen sink, it was time for a speech. Oooh am I calling it a speech, that’s a lie. It was time for me to yell at him the loudest I could. It was now my opportunity to replay that recorded cassette of his mistakes in my mind.
You know what I am talking about. It went like this, “yesterday you did this and that, and by the way the day before yesterday you left the table in chaos, what about on Monday you…and the cassette kept playing and playing” God have mercy on me!
Did he change after me yelling at him? No, the next day he will even not make an attempt of bringing the cutlery in the kitchen, but left it on the dining table. (Recorded it for the next yelling – “speech”)
Does it mean that I was flawless and never wronged him? Of course, I had wronged him countless times. I remember the number of times I forgot to put the lights off in the house, or left some traces of make-up on the bathroom sink. My husband is not that person who dwells on the flaws of others. I was trying to fix him the way I wanted him to be. This is being selfish. I wanted to operate like a wife with her own strength, ability, ignoring my own weakness of perfectionism. My focus was to change him, which I failed!
What’s my point?
I want to encourage today. if you are unhappy with your marriage, or if you want to marry soon. There are some battles are not worth struggling to fight them. Even if you win it, ask yourself about the long-term consequences. Is there harmony thereafter in your home?
It’s till I started learning how to love God first that things started changing. My love for God has taught me to love my husband more and unconditionally, just like Christ does to us. God has dealt with my heart very seriously. He has revealed to me my weaknesses and where I missed it. I had fallen short of being a submissive wife.
Marriage is a trinity. The both of you and God. God will make you overlook beyond the imperfections. Ask God to transform Him for God’s glory and for your own good.
We are both focused on being Christ – like. This does not mean that we are perfect. I am still learning not to “yell” at him, after he has used the last toilet paper on the roll and did not change it.
Both of you are responsible of building a healthy immunity for you to stay married, simple science!
I do love you so much. My joy is when you read this blog and feel encouraged.
Best of regards
yours Grace
