Life will now and then throw to you some hardships that makes you collapse in a corner feeling like nobody cares, hopeless and broken. We have all been there, Haven’t you? And as long as you are present on this planet earth, hardships of life will always come, I promise you.
Today I want to remind you clearly that no matter the hardship you are going through right now, you are not odd. We all have our highs and lows seasons, which is a part of life. (And by all, I mean EVERYBODY- no exceptions)
However, we have different ways of responding to our hardships depending on how prepared we are. Some of us will run to addictions like drugs, alcohol etc., others will try to seek help in the new age era, and others will succumb in their own brokenness – sad. Just to mention a few ways.
And then, there are those like me who have realized the power in them through our Lord Jesus Christ to persevere in the midst of a hardship, regardless of how tough it may seem to be. I have made a choice to turn my hardships into a powerful tool to inspire others and help those who suffered from a similar hardship. This blog is one of the tool I use to reach out broken hearts.
33“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace in the world you have TRIBULATION but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Every experience that I make today, may it be positive or negative will definitely have a great impact to my tomorrow or even to yours. Persevering through the hardship makes you wiser, stronger and bold. So, don’t allow self-pity to stop you from overcoming and moving forward.
It’s your responsibility to let perseverance grow in the inside of you dear friend. This does not happen like a microwave miracle but it’s something that you gradually acquire as you overcome every hardship.
A producer will never produce anything with its purpose. So is our creator. God had already seen your purpose and He knows that you are fit to fulfil it, no matter what comes your ways. God knew that there are some challenges that you will face. He promised you never to abandon you. Hold on His promises as you persevere through and never give up. You are Gods masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)
It’s up to you to not allow situations to overcontrol you as you face your hardships. Instead learn and grow from them, gather experience and use it to help others persevere with hope and faith.
BECOME A HERO!
Points to ponder:
1. Don’t object Hardships, see them as a part of life.
2. Hold on the truth that God is able to turn your mess into a message.
3. A life done without Jesus is meaningless and all is vanity.
4. Perseverance produces blessings and if you don’t believe me, confirm it from the bible.
With love,
yours Grace
In the last days, the most awesome things that I have experienced have been as an outcome of me facing the crippling terror of letting go of everything, and let God do His ways.
We Human beings are so tempted to worry about all sorts of things, holding tight to relationships, academics, people, business/Job, circumstances or even the past, simply because it seems fulfilling. But in the nutshell, not letting go is only limiting you from living your fullest potential.
However, letting go hasn’t been an easy thing to do. I’m that one person who always wanted to have everything under my control, thus leaving me overwhelmed with loads of worries. The reality is that, I wasted a lot of my time and energy trying to cope up with tension and anxiety, not forgetting the sleepless nights which I spent trying to figure everything out, as well as trying to come up with man-made-solutions and wondering why this and that didn’t work out.
What about you? How easy do you let go?
I have recently really understood what it means to let go and let God. Before then I only ran to God in a begging way asking Him for my will to be done. My focus was more on the outcome of my desires rather than the manifestation of God’s will. Do you get my point?
Letting go means letting God take control of everything and trusting Him. He knows everything including the outcome of that certain situation that you are going through. You can’t be in control of everything, not even the outcome.
On the first of June 2019, I lost someone who was and remains very dear to me. My dad was promoted to glory. Dad and I were best friends and we shared a lot. I prayed and stood in faith for dad’s healing. I even believed that God the Almighty was able to raise him again, for nothing is impossible with God. But perhaps, all these were my desires??
You see, I have got good and enough reasons to be discouraged, disappointed and to be bitter for the rest of my life. But I have chosen to let go and let God. It is hard to learn to live without dad, but I’m absolute sure that it’s not the end of my destiny.
I’m writing this blog believing that someone somewhere will benefit from it. Mourning is a healing process and it’s okay to grief. So, feel the pain and embrace it. But you will only get over it if you let go. Letting go doesn’t mean we forget about our loved lost ones. We are still in deep connection with them.
We are all travellers in this journey called life. And in the process of travelling, there are things that we don’t want them to happen but must accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go. And each experience we make has got a meaning.
Letting go and letting God has helped me move on. It has helped me look at things in a totally different perspective. It has made me realise that I am not here to put a question mark on what God has put a PERIOD!
My dear friend, I don’t know exactly what you’re going through. I am not even aware of what you are so much attached to that you feel you can’t let it go. Maybe it feels like, that bad situation is lasting forever. or Maybe it feels like all hope is lost. Perhaps you want to “let go” and “let God” but you feel insecure.
Today I’m the friend at your front door, knocking to see if you’re home. I’m standing on your doormat to tell you the same things that God told me: “And which of you by being anxious and worried can add a single hour to his span of life?”
And I am here to tell you that letting go will be scary at the beginning but you can’t experience freedom if anxious, obsessive, with a fearful mind. None of the things you are attached to can really bring security and happiness to you.
Let go and let the Spirit of God feel your heart and mind.
I love you,
yours Grace.
One of my greatest desire is to serve the Lord all the days of my life. I can speak with great confidence, that it amazes me How God has really worked on me. My journey to my self-discovery has been tough but finding the new me is the best gift I have ever received. You see, there is so much about yourself that can only be discovered by you, and its incredible what we are capable of.
But serving the Lord isn’t always as easy as some of us represent it outside there. It can be accompanied by some difficulties and doubts with a lot of WHYs, test, where tons of patience is required. Nevertheless, don’t be worn out, your determination and labour in serving the Lord is extremely rewarding.
I believe it is impossible to truly serve God and His children if you have not yet discovered yourself and your identity. Never Ever, and if you are not careful you can find yourself driving north instead of south.
Serving the Lord has made me trade my selfishness for selflessness. It has made me learn how to attentively listen and encourage people who have been hearing an earthquake in their hearts. I have learned how to Godly influence others in my leadership position. I have hosted people who have been fighting painful battles inside of them in silence. Ooh what a blessing to see their souls being restored to wholeness. Priceless and Glory be to God.
We are all talented differently, and serving the Lord simply means serving others by using your God given talents. Whichever the way you are called to serve the Lord either by writing, encouraging, teaching, giving, or be a stay-at-home mom, you should do it with gladness only seeking to please the Lord. Don’t buy that lie of seeking to be famous and popular in the name of “God is using you.” Examine your motives.
There are times in my life when I have gone through crises. Where I felt like I didn’t have enough testimonies. One of these times was recently, a crisis between reality and the Word of God after I lost two people, at only their 60’s and 70’s years of age. Although I know that I have the power and authority this time around I felt powerless.
You see, even though God has shown you a clear vision of His purpose on you, don’t expect it to be easy. Remember that your enemy will never go on holidays. In fact, he will make sure he is working overtime to stop you from fulfilling God’s purpose. He does this by bringing obstacles on your way, as well as some disappointments and discouragements.
In my crisis above, I felt very much disappointed. I had a lot of unanswered why’s. But I am grateful to God for using me to serve them, nurse them till their last breath and close their eyes. It’s a privilege that their loved ones could lean on my shoulder even though I felt weak.
Points to ponder:
1. You can’t truly serve the Lord if you don’t know who you are. A self-discovery journey is one great thing to do if you want to live a fulfilled life.
2. Serving the Lord is not like walking on a red carpet. It has some challenges and you might need to wipe others their tears away, while yours are nonstop freely flowing.
3. Seek to serve the Lord with gladness, all for His glory with no personal strings attached.
4.Your enemy is never going on vacation, he will try to do his best to make sure that God’s purpose fails. Be alert and don’t allow him to stop you.
Reflect: Are you serving the Lord? Do you really know who you are? Do you have a question? Don’t hesitate to contact me at contact@grace-albrecht.com
Always with love,
yours Grace
Hallo,
well, I don’t know about you, but I have personally reached to that point of my life, where I passionately hate losing, especially when my manual – my bible tells me that I am more than a conqueror.
Let’s face the truth, who loves losing anything in life anyway? But are you living a life of a conqueror or is your life pathetic? I struggled with failing and losing for many years in my life. No matter how hard I tried to make the ends meets, it felt like the ends were moving further and beyond my reach.
Today I am going to share with you one huge secret of living your life as a conqueror and this is one of the greatest revelations that I ever had in my life. The biggest battle is in your mind. You cannot be a conqueror with a negative mindset. NEVER EVER!
You see, being a conqueror doesn’t mean that you’ll not face obstacles. It simply means that you have renewed your mind to that level where you know that even before that obstacle comes your way, you have already conquered it through Jesus Christ who strengthens you.
The reality is this: Chronic negative thinking has hit a record in the world, thus making most of us live a miserable life. Depression, Anxiety, suicidal, mediocrity, sickness (just to mention a few) are oppressions on a high rise and most likely because of negative thinking.
It is in your mind that everything is controlled, your behaviour, actions and even how you respond to a single situation. Your mind is your core source of reasoning.
Too often, I kept asking myself why my prayers were not being answered. Little did I know that God was eagerly waiting for me to play my part by renewing my mind. I had to cut myself off my old way of thinking. Start by feeding your mind with positive things and nothing but God’s truth. Stop feeding your mind with trash and junk from Tv, social media, music-industry and co. Every single thing that goes into your mind will affect the whole of your life. Be careful!
My greatest desire is for you to get this revelation and live a victorious life. You don’t need another set of prayers. You don’t need to be travelling from destination A to Z looking for answers to your problems. You don’t even have to buy another book explaining the “how to live a victorious life” for example. All you need to do is to RENEW YOUR MIND.
Renewing your mind is not a one time event, it’s a lifestyle. I am still learning it on daily basis. Of course, especially when obstacles hit us, we have a lot of negative words floating and trying to enter our minds and you can’t control it. But you have the power to reject any negative thought by replacing it with a positive one.
My dear sister and my dearest brother, trust me in this one. Until you are willing to renew your mind, you will never be able to exercise the greatness in you, the power, authority and dominion given unto you over challenges, fear, sickness, poverty and so on.
Philippians 4:8-9 will help you to renew your mind. It says: Finally, brothers, (and sisters) whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Always with love,
yours Grace
When I first left my family and my homeland Kenya headed to Europe, I was so much excited and again I felt like I had swallowed another pill of happiness and success. I felt like I was celebrating Easter, Xmas and my birthday on the same day. Genuinely speaking I was full of expectations.
Unfortunately, my excitement turned into a great disappointment the very first night I spent in Europe. (I will spare the story about that terrfying night for another chapter.)
listen, there is something I want you to understand. One of the most difficult things that I did in my life to become the woman I am today, is to push through the discomfort which have been confronting me since that very first day I landed in Europe. You can only experience a true comfortability by first becoming uncomfortable.
I am going to be honest with you, at the beginning, I wanted to pack my suitcase and fly back to Kenya, where I was much more comfortable. Life was so challenging that I almost gave up. You see, discomfort was and is, a part of the process of growing and developing myself.
So, as I was growing up, I never had the interest of learning how to ride a bicycle. Even the slightest thought of me riding a bicycle wasn’t in my mindset. The best part of my discomfort is that I had to learn how to ride a bicycle. (Waaat, where is my car at now? – remember owning a car was one of my top-est expectation.) A bicycle was not a part of my plans and expectations. It even pressed deeper, I wasn’t learning ride a bicycle for fun or for some sort of leisure, no! And as far as I was concerned, bicycle riding was not meant for girls like me.
Guys, it still frightens me, just to think how I rode in the middle of the night with tough and harsh weather conditions (if you have lived in Black Forest you must be aware of what I am talking about.) Hips of snow, iced-slippery roads, rain and storms and the temperature goes to minus degrees. On a bike and with the harsh weather conditions, I rode to work from village A to Village B where I distributed newspapers as from 2:00am to 5:30am. I did my best to see that the customers war contented but war was on me, if I delivered the newspaper five minutes later than the expected time. (More to this story is continued here: http://grace-albrecht.com/my-walk-2/ ) This and many other challenges that I went through have really forced me to stretch beyond my limits.
I don’t know about you, but all what I know is that, I reached to that point where discomfort wasn’t an issue any longer. All what mattered to me was the growth and the success I was making all along beside my discomfort.
I am not sure what your discomfort is. Perhaps your working conditions are harsh like mine were some years back, or even tougher, or maybe you are dealing with a broken relationship. Whatever the kind of discomfort you are dealing with right now, I want to remind you that God never allows a discomfort in your life with a purpose.
Don’t allow the discomfort limit you from living your life to the fullest potential that you were created for. It’s normal to be squeezed up in life. Being comfortable will only make you relax and accept your situations the way they are, to the extent of being demotivated to do more and transform your life.
My prayer for you today is that God will strengthen you as you persevere in your discomfort. May every moment of discomfort that you encounter bare you fruits of growth. May He wipe away your tears of discomfort. I trust that God will open your eyes and enlighten you to learn how to embrace your distress.
Today I can count all the fruits of my discomforts. I have realized that there is so much beauty in discomfort.
YES I AM EMBRACING THE BEAUTY OF MY DISCOMFORTS, TO GOD ALL THE GLORY!
Always with love,
your Grace.
I believe that you EXACTLY know the state of your mind and soul right now as you are reading this post. Don’t you? Well, whichever the state you are, positive or negative, best or worst, I trust that you are aware how this plays a significant role in your wellbeing.
I purposely asked about the state of your mind and soul because they are the most neglected and ignored in today’s human era. Let’s face it, most of us, if not all are so determined in taking good and extra care of their bodies, I mean that flesh of yours that drags you from point A to point B. You shower it and if time allows you take it to bath, you apply it some fragrances, you dress it well and the list goes on. You are fast in meeting its desires and you want the best for it. Honestly confessing it to you, I too belonged to this category.
Unfortunately, even after taking good care of my flesh, I was spiritually and mentally exhausted, void and empty. I could feel a breakdown knocking on my door. Guys, when I say that God is faithful, and His grace is sufficient for me, I just don’t say it because I read it somewhere but because I have tasted it.
listen, to make sure you are living your healthiest God given gift of life to the fullest, there must be a good balance between your body, soul and mind. Having a good balance in these three, is what I would simply refer to a totally healthy you.
I am so thrilled in wanting to share with you how I managed to overcome the breakdown. You see, I love sharing only what I myself have experienced, at least I know what I am talking about and I can relate to it.
So, if you are struggling like I did, if you can feel a breakdown, if you feel exhausted and the best you want now is to escape from this world, I want you to be comfortable and know that you are not alone.
After spending a long period of time searching for happiness outwardly, everything else in this world failed me. Money, wealth, human relationships could not secure me either. BUT JESUS saved me. Discovering who JESUS really is and having a clarity of nothing but the truth about Him has radically transformed me. I recently met a friend whom I have not seen for some years ago, and she was like,“what happened to you Grace, I just admire and adore you”. She could see a transformed different Grace than the one she knew. I am not writing this to brag about myself but all for the glory of God.
The misconception that God is all about religion had totally misled me. Were it not for me discovering the truth, I would have lived my whole life afraid and enslaved to emptiness. Trust me, your mind needs to be transformed to having the minds of Christ. Your soul need to be healed, restored and renewed.
A breakdown in your system does not necessarily mean that your flesh is the reason. So, stop rushing to the doctor and pumping yourself with medicines. Fixing only your flesh is not fixing the core roots of the problem. FIX YOUR SOUL, FIX YOUR MIND, FIX YOUR BODY. Dig deep inside yourself, what is holding you back? Wouldn’t you rather prefer healing yourself with a heavenly medicine?
Surrender your life unto God and resist temptations. Experience an amazing change in your life. An awareness that there is much more than just satisfying your flesh desires. A beginn of a journey of happiness, effectiveness and a totality of a healthy you.
I love you,
yours Grace
Hallo,
well, I don’t know about you, but all that I know is that life is not full of roses pedals. We are at times faced with tough difficult situations. I mean that time of your life when the roses are dry and the only thing you can see is the cruel reality of its thorns. In short, you feel like all doors are closed.
I am talking about that time when you look around and see how everybody else apart from you has been blessed. When you are hustling from an interview to an interview and nobody is offering you a job opportunity. When you have too much hope of a relationship, only to find out that they have been taken. When the seeds you were counting on did not materialize the way you had hoped for. ALL DOORS CLOSED!
When you are in a deep pain and the suffering is unbearable. Yes, I know how discouraging it can be, because I have faced countless of closed doors in my life. I have been hopeless and there was only darkness at the end of the tunnel. There is a deep feeling of discomfort all through the suffering and we can not deny it.
I am sure some of you reading this blog are either going through the closed doors syndrome, or you were once a victim to it just like I was. You have probably read my story in my blog article here ( http://grace-albrecht.com/my-walk-2/) When I first came to Europe, I thought that my doors were opened. Little did I know that I was starting a journey down a hall full of closed doors.
Deep inside me I knew how talented I was, but nobody offered me the opportunity. I sent hundreds of applications only to receive letters of rejection some days later. I vividly remember the panic I got when I saw that big envelope in my post-box, cos I knew it was again a letter of rejection.
People told me that I could never make it and life was hard in Germany. Honestly, I was hurt both spiritually and emotionally. I was confused and doubted myself if I had really done the right thing boarding that plane to Europe.
However, all through my suffering, I have learned that there is so much power in not giving up and that God works in a mighty way. I have also learned that every closed door invited a response from me, and every response welcomed an outcome. You see, depending on how you respond to your suffering, you can either make your life miserable or you can refine yourself further to be stronger. I think the amount of energy required in either of them might be equal. So, how do you respond?
I am grateful to my closed doors. They have taught me to accept that they are closed, and I don’t have the key to open them. Yes, I am gad that I don’t have the key because behind some of these doors there could be a monster waiting to swallow me up.
Listen, closed doors don’t care about what you really want. So, stop wasting your time crying. They want to force you to step out of your comfort zones. Maybe they want you to spend a one-on-one time with God in prayer, to read your bible and seek Him more.
Today, God is using me to change the futures of other people like myself. I didn’t want to join the statistics of a wasted life in the diaspora. If you are right now going through the closed-doors-syndrome, I want to let you know that you are not alone. I want you to know that the power of God is working on your behalf, even if you can’t feel and see it. Hold on and trust Him.
Always with love,
yours Grace.
It’s hard to believe that we are half way 2018. Do you think that time flies? It seems like
it’s yesterday we started the year. Scary! Nevertheless, you and I have got the privilege to be the pilots and navigate our own time. We give God the glory for this freedom.
The big challenge is: Are you enjoying the adventures of flying?
As I was reflecting unto my life today, I realised that there is a lesson that I have learned much better this year, than the rest of the years. Oh yes, the lesson of being and remaining committed to everything that I do.
You remember when the year was starting how you grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and wrote down your new year resolutions. But how committed have you been to your goals?
My sis and bro, there is superpower in commitment. Trust me. Being committed has really helped me kick some bad syndrome like procrastination and laziness out of my life. It has helped me get a clear vision of what I want for myself and my life. (“Who doesn’t want this anyway.”)
I don’t know about you but having realised the superpower of Commitment has made me to be productive and happier as well. My manual which is the word of God, clearly commands me to be committed. (Whom I am I not to obey?) I am committed in seeking God more in my life, and through this way He has rewarded me with wisdom.
If there is anything that you would like to change in your life, talk of some bad attitudes, marriage issues, job or financial issues, et cetera et cetera, you have to tap into the concept of COMMITMENT.
Another thing that I am 100% committed to is being genuine and real to myself. Through the past years, I cared so much about the opinion of others about me, thus ending up doing things half-heartedly only to please them. Horrible way of living! Of course many are the times that I failed and have been misled to wrong directions, BUT I have learned from my past mistakes. So, even you, it is not late for you to decide to be different and committed. Take action today.
Dear reader, this blog is a God sent wisdom for you today. He is requesting you not to be “Luke-warm but to be “RED-HOT” committed, all for His glory and for your goodness.
In what are you really committed to? Note it down as we enjoy the adventure of flying our time. See you in my plane of flying time.
I love you,
Yours Grace
Hallo reader,
For those of us who are married you will agree with me that it’s common to have some expectations from your spouse, even before you have exchanged the vows. Isn’t it? How does it feel when some of these expectations are not fulfilled? We are disappointed, frustrated and can lead to a higher demotivation level of building a healthy marriage.
As I was reflecting unto my own personal – marriage -life, I realised that I had some unrealistic expectations. I expected to leak honey at its best and everything was going to be excellent. What a myth!
My dear sister, my dear brother, please allow me to share with you some of the things I wished I knew before I married. It doesn’t matter the state you find yourself in today, may it be single, divorced, separated or married, trust me these tips will help you make a healthier relationship and have fun, enjoying living with each other.
1. She/he is not responsible for your happiness. I believed that my mission searching for happiness was finally accomplished when I answered “Yes I do”. I felt like I had just swallowed another pill of happiness and therefore, I stopped dreaming and working on my own personal goals. I had probably misunderstood the meaning of the word happiness as explained in the dictionary. Ladies and Gents, you are responsible for your own happiness. Happiness is not a goal of you getting married but an outcome of a healthier worked on marriage, BY BOTH OF YOU. Holding her/him accountable for your happiness is just a big burden for your spouse, of which nobody can bear.
Of course his happiness is as much as important to me as to him. Life is a matter of growing and developing and so is marriage too. We both know that God is the only reliable source of a long-term happiness. God has enough and plenty of wisdom for each one of us, utilise it even after you are married.
2. Communication is a vital key in marriage. For the first years I expected him to read my minds. Honestly, how? An open and effective communication has helped us build out a strong intimacy. Don’t be shy to speak out your heart desires. Learn to listen and be aware of the power of your tongue. Words can be healing or hurting. I love doing validation if I have messed up in communicating.
3. I wish somebody told me that sex is food for the both of us! Waaah! I had so much misconceptions on this topic. It is not only about the physical actions. No, it’s about the oneness that connects the both of you spiritually intimate. Read more on this topic here.. http://grace-albrecht.com/allgemein/sex-is-an-important-spice-for-your-marriage/
Next to this, a man needs respect and to be honoured in actions and words.
4 True colours: Yes everyone has got some shades of imperfections. Unfortunately some of these imperfections may start to show up after you have married. In the courtship everything seem to be perfect, easy and loveable. We hardly reveal our true self. Gal, be ready to know and even learn to accept some silly part of him.
We are both not perfect and we are even very far from being perfect, but we are proud of each other. I, personally have learned to be grateful and content. I am sure that I am his helper, so I do my God assigned homework well. What are your experiences? Do you feel frustrated due to unmet expectations? Let me hear from you.
I love you,
yours Grace.
Hallo Reader,
you have definitely heard me talking about living a God given purpose. Have you? Well, you will hear it again and again.
The truth is that, I struggled for many years searching for my purpose. And before my spiritual awakening I always thought that my career was my purpose. I therefore, concentrated on achieving
higher accomplishment. I totally believed that my career was the reason as to why I was born. Do you also think like I thought?
Unfortunately, many people die having not discovered what their purpose is. This a great loss to the world, for you are an unwrapped gift to it. God has placed some special purpose inside of you. God want you to be an answer to somebody’s else prayers. Your responsibility is to allow the world to unwrap that gift that God put in you.
Life has much more beautiful things to offer, other than repeating the same patterns years after years. I believe that God is fair enough not to hide our purpose for us. We are just too much programmed in chasing career and in the process, we lose the awareness of our gifts. For some of
us we are even in a career that was laid out by our parents, or circumstances forced us to be in any career possible. You therefore end up being limited in your life instead of you to flourish into your purpose.
I know that we need to pay our bills and that is why we need a job. But if you are like me, even after getting that good paying job and paid my bills, something was still missing in my life. Financial success doesn’t literally mean that one is happy.
Your God given purpose is bigger than your job. Honestly, would you not like to experience more happiness in your life? Living your purpose gives life a complete new meaning with fulfilment. In each one of us, there is something unique, precious and of great value, something that you are so passionate in and you can do it better than your next. It is a treasure stored inside you. Embrace yourself, you are an unwrapped gift to the world.
Have you discovered what your life’s purpose is? Would you like to expand your potential and live a life aligning with your God given purpose? Don’t be shy, drop me an email.
I love you,
yours Grace
I have a confession to make today. As I was growing up I didn’t like my name so much, since many people were called Grace especially in almost every class I attended in school.
It was the most common name during my time next to Mary. My classmates and teachers were forced to use both my first and surname to differentiate which Grace they meant. Worst was when the surname wasn’t any better either…Lol, those who schooled with me knows what I am talking about here.
I am wondering if you have ever disliked your name at some point like I did? Or have you have ever wished you should have been called Glory and not Grace, Jenny and not Jennifer, David and not Dennis, just for example?
Unfortunately, you and I were not given the chance to choose the names we would like to be called and carry it with us the rest of our life here on planet earth. Our parents did their best by picking the best names for us, we trust!
A few weeks ago, I was so much interested in knowing more about my name. It would be of much help probably, if I could have the chance to discuss it with my mum. But today my mum is a late mum and the answer I got from my dad was not all that satisfying. So, I ended up “bible-it” from the google. Amazingly, I was positively surprised to all the pretty nice meaning that I found out about the name Grace.
Did you ever think of checking what your name really means? Well, I don’t want you to be shocked after you find out the meaning of your name. Neither do I want you to start changing your name. It will cost you money, time and a lot of nagging paperwork especially if you are based in Europe like I do.
The beauty of everything is that God has a secret name for each one of us. Your new name will describe more of your character and your God given purpose. For example, God changed Sarai, meaning “argumentative” – to Sarah, meaning “princess”.
Today God want to change your name. You shall no longer be called Depressed, Alcoholic, Wounded, Looser, Outcast, Lonely, afraid, Ugly name it all! Your new name shall be Confidence, joyfulness Overcoming one, Conqueror, Winner, A friend of God, Woman/Man of great faith etcetera, etcetera. Wouldn’t you love it?
In the real life, we give each other nicknames based on our characters. I have also observed that the closer we are to people, the less we call them by their birth names. The intimate the relationship is, the sweeter the nickname sounds.
Names like Honey, Babe, Sweetheart, Angel, Darling, Dear, Papi, Wa-Mother, (hihihi), Schatz for the Germans, to an endless list.
And so, it is with God. Seek a deeper and closer relationship with Him. God is still in the business of changing people’s names like we can read it in the bible how He gave many people new names.
Today I love my name so much and I wouldn’t trade it for something else. However, God has given me a brand-new name. My secret name based on my God given purpose.
Have you discovered your purpose? Do you know what name God calls you? I am looking forward to hearing from you.
I love you
Yours Grace.
You and I can agree that God is limitless. Right?
But how can we be talking of a limitless God when we are surrounded with a lot of limitations. Accumulating debts, broken marriages, jobless, sickness and the rest of the limitations. Can you relate with this?
I was reflecting unto my past life and I discovered how I sometimes felt limited. My desire today is to share with you why I found myself in the limited-situation.
1. I wanted to grab it all from God without doing anything. I was that lazy christian who never spent time to seek God in prayer. A two minutes prayer in the morning and in the evening, was too much for me. I was good at requesting others to pray for me and my needs.
Most of the times I said the “Our father -Prayer” and even fell asleep before I was done reciting it. After all, my pastor prayed for his church members I included.
However, God does not function that way. He wants you and I to seek Him constantly. God is not bound to limitations, He is a good God. If you can afford to spend hours on social media, you can also afford time for the one who created you and is the Giver of time.
2. I had bought up the tricks of the devil. The same things I prayed for, were the same things I found myself worrying and complaining about. I often found myself saying “this and that will never be”. Mmmmh really?? If it is aligning with the word of God, nothing is impossible with Him. It is a lie from the devil to keep you in your limitations.
The devil is going professional with his tricks and lies, so you better go professional in your prayer life and outsmart him. Learn how to position your prayers with expectations.
3. The devil had done a pretty good job of letting me compare my life with the life of others. I felt like my progress in life was moving at 10KM/H, while that of others was at 100KM/H. So, I wanted to accelerate my life immediately. Unfortunately, I accelerated with the wrong speed and as a result I was stuck into huger limitations.
Let the will of God be done in your life. It is His Speed and not your speed. Patience is a fruit of the Holy spirit that you need to pursue. Don’t deceive the Holy Spirit.
4. My ego held me back from asking for help. Some of the answers to my limitations were just next door. But what would they think about me if I asked them for help. Trapped in anxiety caused by ego, I remained stuck.
The bible tells us to ask and we shall receive. God will use ordinary people to settle a certain issue in your life. We are the body of Christ and we need each other. After you have said your prayers, go out there and ask for help.
As I continued to do my reflection, I realised that I was the main reason of my limitations. There were some bad habits that I had formed which sabotaged my progression in life. I had limited God.
GOD REMAINS LIMITLESS
Tell me about yourself. Do you feel limited in anything in your life? Would you like to change anything? May it be a habit or a belief-pattern? Through sharing, you can get a solution. Comment below or hit my inbox.
I love you,
yours Grace
Dear Reader,
unfortunately, we human beings have a got a DNA in us of blaming others and having too many excuses on the circumstances that happen in our lives. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed satan, after they had both disobeyed God. At last “it wasn’t me”
Being in a leadership position, I have realized how difficult it is to lead irresponsible people. To be sincere with you, I needed an extra portion of the grace of God on this one. When I separate the word responsibility, I come up with two powerful words, response and ability. In short, responsibility is the ability to respond wisely, and being held accountable for your outcome of actions.
Most of the things that happens to us are due to our past decisions and actions. Mark you, I don’t mean all but most. Not taking responsibility is a comfortability with a great harm to oneself. Sorry, but the hard truth is that your career, relationships, purpose, health, dreams etc may end up being totally damaged out of irresponsibility.
I was privileged to be born in a christian family and attended christian schools and college, and I never missed the church on Sundays. (“What a good christian I was, I thought.”) Despite this privilege I hardly understood the bible and what really meant to be a Christ-like christian. For me it was some kind of a routine and just a label to be a christian. I was empty, and my heart was unclean with unforgiveness, hatred, selfishness, egoisms just to name a few. You see, a label on an empty bottle is meaningless. I was messed-up big time my dear friend. This is to show you how irresponsible I was for my own relationship with God and my spiritual growth. Till that one day that I decided to take full responsible of my life, my mess started turning into a message, inform of this blog. This blog has transformed many lives.
You were not given the chance to choose where you want to be born, the names you want to be called, the kind of believes you grew up in and the like, BUT you have the responsibility to change where you are heading to. It is your choice to either blame your past, parents, situations or you wise up and get the power that God gave you back by being responsible.
Learn how to take responsibility of your own life. You will then learn how to be authentic, discover how talented you are, and your self-confidence rises. It is worth trying it. Start living and enjoying life by taking responsibility of your actions. Through taking responsibility of my actions, I have learned that sometimes I am my own problem and that I can not change people, but I can change the way I treat them and my responses towards them.
I love you,
yours Grace
Dear reader,
I trust you started your new year well and strongest? Did you?
Everybody in the world has a different past, but this time around you and I happen to share a mutual past. That is year 2017.
Whatever you experienced in the year 2017, I believe there is much you learnt out of it. There is much than just a naked memory when you think of “what once was”. The attempt of this blog is not to make you dwell in the past, but to share with you my take away from 2017, which makes a better 2018.
Here we go, ready?
1. Knowing God better and personally: You see, there is a different between saying you know God and you knowing God personally. For many years I was so convinced that I knew God, by making sure I attended the church on every Sunday and secured myself the very first seat after the altar. By giving others the responsibility to read and explain the bible for me. By being holy on Sundays but living a different life from Monday to Saturday. By waiting till the storm come and then spend hours praying and asking God “why me?” And the list goes on and on. I was just lost in an illusion. Year 2017 made me know God better and personally. I was admitted in God’s Intensive Care Unit (GICU), where I encountered the real Love of God. Guys, this is when I started embracing life. I have learnt more about God and this has in reward helped me learn more about myself. I now know whom I am, my identity is not determined by the things I mentioned above. I am what God says I am!
2. Bringing impact in people’s life: You never know who is looking up unto you, and trust me somebody is really watching your footsteps. It is my duty to be a stewardess of a positive influence. My life has been an interesting adventure since I started pushing people smoothly beyond their capabilities. This makes me bring naked truth on the table, be genuine to myself and to be the change I want to see in others. In short, it has made me develop in my persona. So, the duty of influencing others positively continues radically in year 2018. Who is in for it?
3. My purpose vs Success: I missed the best highlight of my life by thinking that success was all about the toys I owned. Unfortunately, even after owning some toys, I could still feel empty, void and lonely. All through the year 2017, I have realised that a long-term success begins with your purpose. Knowing my purpose has given me that inner satisfaction. For example, writing this blog is apart of my purpose which gives me so much joy, because I know you will get value out of it. Never again will I ever trade my purpose for approval.
4. Self-reflection: Thanks be to 2017, that I started doing some self-reflection on what I do. Taking time to reflect and review on my personal world. This has increased my healthy self-confidence, as well as knowing that I can’t change everyone. But I can change my reactions towards people and situations.
As I take a review of 2017, I am so grateful for the transformation that I have undergone through. I have a reason to celebrate myself. Above all, I am grateful to God, my family, my husband, my partners, my students and to my expanding network of beautiful souls. You all made my 2017 a fabulous year. Thank you.
If God can bless me to be a blessing to you, He can bless you too, to be a blessing to someone else.
Trust me, it takes only one person to change somebody’s life, is that person you?
I love you,
yours Grace.
Dear reader,
I am writing this out of a question that one of those I coach asked me. “Grace, how do you manage to love others unconditionally?
Well, it is damn hard to love people especially if they don’t belong to our bloodline. I am talking about real love to strangers without expecting anything back from them.
True love has been misinterpreted. True love is much more deeper than just some kind of an emotion thing.
One of my greatest desire is to love others without letting emotions to control me, not to end up acting maliciously to those who do wrong to me. Hard thing! It requires an extra portion of the grace of God.
I want to share with you some tips on what helps me to love others on daily basis and uncondditionally.
1. God is my source of love philosophy: I have tried to love others by myself and my own power. My energy was drained out and most of the times I was very much disappointed, cos I ran short of love. (“gimme love, gimmie love” was the motto!) You see, when you give somebody something, you must be having a source of that something you are giving. God is my source of love. HE is LOVE and HE created me in His Own Image. His love is not based on how good we are and perfect we try to be, nor on emotions or feelings. He fuels my heart with tonnes of compassionate love to share with others. Since then, I said goodbye to going short of love and never worry about love any longer! What is your source of love?
2. From a chameleon lifestyle to my true-identity: My heart was full of emptiness and a false selfhood and if you asked me whom I was, I had no answers to this question. (Today I can only weep on remembering this) It was easy to fit in and showcase in a wrong identity. Deep down inside me I could feel how my real self was neglected. Therefore, my love for others was based on liking, conditions and of course, the desire of wanting to be loved back. Walking in my real identity has made me authentic. It has built my self-confidence by accepting myself the way God created me, and living by what God says I am. It makes love for others flow freely out of me. A chameleon changes its skin depending on the surrounding, in order to fit in and please others. Are you one of the chameleons or are you true to yourself?
3. Self-love: There is much more to read in my blog about my self-realization. I wrote about learning to love myself. I believe you cannot give others what you don’t owe. Loving myself makes me treat others, the way I would like myself to be treated by others . Simply living by I’m Ok, You’re Ok philosophy! Please visit my archive for more on this topic.
If God is in me, I believe that HE uses my eyes to see others the way HE sees them. There is nothing that we can do to separate us from His Love. So, even if someone does me wrong, I still love them. Lord have mercy on me!
after all, hatred is a heavy burden to bear. It injures both the hater ad the hated! Choose well!
Your opinion is highgly appreciated.
I will always love you.
Yours Grace
Hallo reader,
does a man/male got to “swallow” his tears of joy or pain? Does he got to hide and struggle not to cry when crying would be the only way to be relieved? Simply because somebody said that “men don’t cry?” Simply because tears from a man, are considered as a sign of weakness.
I don’t know about you, but as I was growing up, I heard this saying being repeated now and then to the boys who surrounded me. “You are a man, boys don’t cry.” Even when the youngest boy was hurt badly on any part of his body, he was told not to cry.
Moms and dads please share with me your advises. Is your boy – child allowed to cry and allowed to be a child? Tears are not a threat to your masculinity. You are still a man. Not crying does not make you a hyper-masculine either. Don’t be deceived!
I am sure that, you as a man goes through some hard times, some unbearable moments and some pain! Don’t you?? Feel free to express your emotions naturally and cry. It is healthy to cry. To me crying is a sign of strength and another form of communicating. So, cry, cry, cry, boy!
What is your opinion? What defines your masculinity?
I love you,
yours Grace.
Hallo reader,
Well, Mr. Google tells me that more than one million “selfies” are made on a single day. Have you become a selfie-holic? Lord have mercy! Nevertheless, most of these selfies are not the truest expression of oneself from within.
The desire to be liked and to please others has totally messed up with the beauty of the innermost self. As a result, you end becoming a victim of others. You fear experiencing shame and loose face before others. You live a life of fighting to meet the expectations of others. *Sad*
What if I were to tell you that you possess an authentic purpose, which will never manifest on a fake foundation, would you then fight the right battle? The battle to be the truest innermost selfie of yourself?
Being authentic is honouring to be the person that God created you to be. However, this does not just happen overnight. It is a process of acceptance, admitting your insecurities and acknowledging them. Accepting to work, invest and develop in your true persona.
Out of my own experience, being authentic is admirable, healthy, productive and very much rewarding. Just try it and let God guard you.
Tips: Start by speaking the truth, forgiving, letting go of things that are not adding value to your life.
“To be yourself in this world which is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ~ Ralph Waldo ~
I love you,
yours Grace
Hallo reader,
how much time and energy do you invest in judging others? If I tell you that I have never done it, I will be 100% lying to you. I have done it again and again and without thinking twice!
It is easy to point a finger at others, judge them, blame them, demoralize them and even criticise them. You only forget that by pointing a finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you. This is for me a clear declaration that, you are either a part of the problem, or you are causing a bigger problem to the initial one.
Worse still, is that we are not even better than “others” whom we go pointing fingers at. Are you?
Well, I don’t know about you, but I took time to go through a reality check of my own wholeness. I have learned that it is not through pointing fingers at others that will solve a problem, nor make the world a better place to live in.
Have you ever thought of doing yourself reality check to your self – wholeness?? How pure is your heart? Please be honest with yourself when answering this question. A sincere answer is all for your own good.
It is the highest time that you started acknowledging the potholes in your heart and deal with them thoroughly. I am talking about potholes like anger, jealousy, envy, hatred, ungratefulness, unforgiveness, insecurity, selfishness, abusive, and the company of many other negative emotions that are occupying unnecessary space in your heart.
True happiness does not come from external sources. Stop focusing on this anyway, if you don’t want to ruin your sweet future. Focus on getting a pure heart, and a top level of the best wholeness possible.
Nevertheless, remember that you cannot drive out darkness with darkness, only light can do that. Stop being part of the problem by getting rid of those potholes in your hearts. Replace them with love.
When you start loving from within and being honest to your selfhood, you will allow yourself the opportunity of being happy by creating a smart future.
More so, you and I know that God’s desire for us is to have a pure heart. “Blessed and happy are the pure in heart.” To me, being pure in heart simply means working on our hearts potholes constantly and having a honest self-awareness.
The naked truth when you judge others is as a result of your insecurity. It reflects who you are and how unhappy you are with yourself. Demoralizing others tend to give you some fake satisfaction and a fake “feeling good” emotion.
I can feel your desire to change. Oh yes, don’t wait any longer. Ask God to transform you to a Version 2.0 of the person He created you to be! Focus on your own freind my dear reader! Have fun in your journey.
I love you,
yours Grace
Seeing a happily married couple does not mean that magic happened in their life, for their marriage to be healthy. Of course, no, there is a big battle to fight behind every successful marriage. Yes, there is nothing like “A-Good-Ready Made-Marriage”.
Looking back through my marriage life, we have both learnt a lot from each other. We have had tough times together, we have fought and exchanged harsh words! There are days I felt like raising my red flag and say, “It was never meant to be”
So, what have I learnt?
After fourteen years of marriage I have realized that you can never change someone else. It is not even in your role of a wife/husband either. Trying to fix each other will drive both of you damn crazy.
I want to be honest with you like a sister or a brother. I have tried to change him, but the more I tried the tougher it got. I was good at recording a list of his flaws in my mind. For example, when I’d come home and find some cutlery standing in the kitchen sink, it was time for a speech. Oooh am I calling it a speech, that’s a lie. It was time for me to yell at him the loudest I could. It was now my opportunity to replay that recorded cassette of his mistakes in my mind.
You know what I am talking about. It went like this, “yesterday you did this and that, and by the way the day before yesterday you left the table in chaos, what about on Monday you…and the cassette kept playing and playing” God have mercy on me!
Did he change after me yelling at him? No, the next day he will even not make an attempt of bringing the cutlery in the kitchen, but left it on the dining table. (Recorded it for the next yelling – “speech”)
Does it mean that I was flawless and never wronged him? Of course, I had wronged him countless times. I remember the number of times I forgot to put the lights off in the house, or left some traces of make-up on the bathroom sink. My husband is not that person who dwells on the flaws of others. I was trying to fix him the way I wanted him to be. This is being selfish. I wanted to operate like a wife with her own strength, ability, ignoring my own weakness of perfectionism. My focus was to change him, which I failed!
What’s my point?
I want to encourage today. if you are unhappy with your marriage, or if you want to marry soon. There are some battles are not worth struggling to fight them. Even if you win it, ask yourself about the long-term consequences. Is there harmony thereafter in your home?
It’s till I started learning how to love God first that things started changing. My love for God has taught me to love my husband more and unconditionally, just like Christ does to us. God has dealt with my heart very seriously. He has revealed to me my weaknesses and where I missed it. I had fallen short of being a submissive wife.
Marriage is a trinity. The both of you and God. God will make you overlook beyond the imperfections. Ask God to transform Him for God’s glory and for your own good.
We are both focused on being Christ – like. This does not mean that we are perfect. I am still learning not to “yell” at him, after he has used the last toilet paper on the roll and did not change it.
Both of you are responsible of building a healthy immunity for you to stay married, simple science!
I do love you so much. My joy is when you read this blog and feel encouraged.
Best of regards
yours Grace
Dear reader,
Life is like an event full of dramas knowns as challenges. Some of these dramas can harm us so badly, that seeing something positive coming out of them seem next to impossible. We are hurt and pissed off with life. Aren’t we? The only thing left inside us is a big question of WHY ME??
But let us together visit our life’s manual and see the kind of people that God used to fulfil a certain purpose.
1. Moses: In the modern world, we would say that he was adopted for free. He didn’t know about his biological parents. We later read that, he was a murderer. He ran away from his adoption-parents after killing somebody and burying him in the sand. Talk of a WANTED CRIMINAL!!! Regardless of all these, God used him to free millions of people out of slavery. What challenges must you face before God uses you to save just one life???
2. King David: This hero encourages me so much. Waaaaah, he had broken almost the half of the ten commandments. Thanks be to God, I am not as bad as he was. 😉 . Murdering, adultery, cheating…failing after failing. Do you think you are better off? Regardless of a messed-up past, he became a man after God’s own heart. Would you be strong enough, even after making mistakes after mistakes to triumph over a lion – another challenge on your way? Learn from David the king.
I could go on and on. What challenges are you facing today? Do you have a messed up past and a questionable future? Whatever the answers you give to these questions, I trust that you are smart enough to see a blessing behind every challenge.
Let me promise you this one thing, you are not yet done with dramas. You will still face them in future. Use your challenges to learn a lesson, take advantage of it and utilise to step into your purpose.
Some of us have had a hard way to discover their purpose. So, when this guy in the pic below shared just a piece of his story with me, I couldn’t hold my tears any longer. Read his story here http://www.andreasmarquardt.de/ueber_mich.html (for English-speakers I can translate it, just request.)
I believe that no matter how we try to ignore it, God is always there, although unseen, to help us conquer these challenges. Challenges gives us a better perspective about life, we are strengthened and we learn more skills to tackle a forthcoming challenge.
Sometimes I have a feeling that this is God’s style to shape us, before we discover our purposes and take full responsibility of them. Do you think like me?
What I admire most about Addy are his words that goes like this. “As long as blood flows through my body, I will always involve myself in helping needy people. Mostly homeless people and sexually abused kids” (*touched*.) He has appeared three times in Guinness Book of world records – used his challenges to make a record in the world. He is now one of the best children’s-karate-trainer in Germany. Training kids to respect adults but WITHOUT FEAR!
Learn to deal with the internal obstacles first. Fear, unforgiveness, insecurity, perfectionisms and Co. Asking how? Hit my inbox or drop me a mail and together we will find a way!
I love you,
yours Grace.
Hallo __________________, (I want you to put your name here)
you will perhaps agree with me when I say,”I find we – humans very interesting”. Would you? We have a very deep desire of connecting with others to fulfil our incompleteness. Our wellbeing, our happiness, or our security depends very much on the kind of relationships we
hold.
Somebody said, “show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” There is so much truth in this saying because the quality of the life you are living today, may be as an outcome of the kind of people you groove with.
Every relationship we create is there to complete a certain need in terms of socially, physically, financially, emotionally and so on. We can, therefore, never for heaven sake miss to relate with each other.
However, it is in the same relationships that you strive to engage in, that betrayal and frustrations are mostly found. What happens here? Someone get me an answer please? These are the same people you trusted and felt so secure in their presence. Now they have rejected you and broken your heart into pieces. “Hallo”. Can you now understand me when I say, “I find we humans” very interesting?
Question: Do we expect so much out of the relationships we make but receive so much little out of them? (Answer me in the comments, I will appreciate your opinion)
Well, I don’t know about you but I have been betrayed. The last betrayal that I experienced was extremely hurting, I felt awful, worthless and there was a deep wound in my heart. I could not understand what had happened and how it happened to me. I wasted a lot of my time and energy trying to understand and figure out where I had gone wrong.
A year was gone and I just hoped it wasn’t true. I just hoped I could rewind the whole story. To some point, I was confused and was even not entirely sure if I trusted myself either.
The betrayal wound had grown bigger, necrotic and it was bleeding deep red blood. It was inflammable and painful. It was a battle that I fought in my heart.
“Ever gone through a betrayal-battle?
As I was in the midst of looking for answers with sleepless nights, I felt a tap on my shoulder that changed the whole story. It was soft and lovely with an unforgettable voice that said: “hallo Grace, I can feel your pain. My name is Jesus and I just want to remind you that I was also betrayed by one of my disciples. You are not exceptional, so consider my words, forgive and move on”
What??? Forgive?? The only thing I needed was a revenge. Are you serious Jesus?
I will be cheating if I told you that this was easy. However, let me confess it to you that it was the only right medication to heal my bleeding wound. Thank you, Jesus, for setting a good example to my life. I have understood that there will always be a Judas somewhere to betray us. May it be in your relationship, friendship, workplace etc etc.
Could this be God’s plan unto our life? How do we react to betrayals?
Every experience you make in your life, will always contribute to the person you become. You have the choice to either respond to it or react to it.
I decided to live and enjoy life. Forgiveness set me free by giving me a peace of mind. I said a big NO to becoming a victim of betrayal.
I have found out that God has highlighted challenges and trails – betrayal being one of them – in His plan for us. He has a GPS and he knows where He is leading you to. My betrayal was an opportunity for me to develop and grow.
My last word for you is this. Learn how to trust God and put Him first in everything you do. Judas was found in a team of only twelve disciples, so how many of the Iscariots will be found in the people you love and trust most. I believe that your list is longer than twelve. Right?
Human beings will always disappoint you, God will never disappoint you. No one owes you anything not even your success. You have the responsibility of finding out your God’s given purpose. Stop fixing your mind, energy and potential on a closed door. Learn from losing and move on!
I love you,
yours Grace
Have you ever read a book and you feel like you are reading your own personal story?
Well, I did.
After getting my belly full with a healthy breakfast, I jumped in my home-wear and I was ready to rock the day on my couch, reading a book.
OMG, did somebody sneak into my life and wrote a book about it?
It is very inspiring to read a book that discuss human obstacles in a relation to biblical perspectives.
I am talking about the book “From the Inside Out: Forty days to Calvary”, written by Laura Ngaba Tinzoh. This book will keep you wanting to read more and more. I just couldn’t get enough of my “own story” being narrated by somebody else. It is just the right blend of reality and bible teachings that if applied, can transform your life.
Life presents itself with a share of challenges. Laura shares her part of challenges in the book, and how she conquered each one of them. She reminds us that at times, hardships are there for a specific purpose.
I personally feel so much blessed having read this book. I am in love with it. Thank you, Laura, for giving me a deeper meaning, of what fasting is. I have been fasting almost dairy, abstaining myself from all the negativity and working on a beauty that comes from the inside. (Mind you, I don’t mean abstaining from food.)
As a blogger, I have been sharing my own life experiences. Life challenges have given me the opportunity to view life in a different and a better perspective, as well as to think beyond my little world.
At times we try to solve problems relying on our own style of stubbornness, only to find out that we keep failing. Laura takes us through the scriptures and gives us practical examples, on how to rely on God as we face the difficulties. Very inspiring and encouraging!
If you are going through some challenges and you don’t know how face them, this is the right book to read. If you have been desiring to live a life being led by God, this book is highly recommended for you.
Grab yourself a copy: https://amzn.to/2Nrg2Ed
I love you,
yours Grace.
Hallo readers,
have you ever asked yourself the reason why you are here on this planet earth? Why do you occupy that specific space anyway?
If your answer is yes, let me welcome you in my boat.
I thought I had discovered my purpose on the job I did, only to find out that there was a different and a unique reason as to why I existed.
It was rooted so deep inside of me that life was a matter of only focusing on goals and dreams, to find happiness. Although I achieved most of my goals successfully, I still felt some emptiness in me. I was exhausted and life felt meaningless.
I wanted to do more but I was not sure in which direction. Terrifying, isn’t it?
I will share with you the steps I took, to finally find the right direction to my life’s purpose.
1. Even though I felt like God had forgotten me in finding my purpose, I still had a strong desire of seeking Him. I knew that He created each one of us in His Own Image, and fulfill a certain purpose. It would be of disgrace if He allowed me to miss my purpose. Do you think like me? This gave me hope and I knew that God will never frustrate me. I kept seeking Him!
2. Self-discovery. Let me confess it to you that I was broken, frustrated, embarrassed and faced a lot of disappointments. I lived a life of compromising, thus being stuck and messy. I just existed and sympathised with what others wanted me to do. I reached to that point where enough was extremely enough, and I was fed up with a life of “what if” and regrets. You can’t build your purpose on a fake, weak and a toxic foundation. You have to be real. God is ready to transform you and make a diamond out of you. I allowed Him to transfrom me!
3.Career vs Purpose. I discovered the difference between these two things. Life purpose is much bigger than your career. We waste a lot of our precious time looking for perfect jobs. But at the end of it all, if we truly listened to our hearts, we still have a feeling of dissatisfaction. Questions like, “what do I enjoy serving” and “what do I care about”, helped me to tap into my purpose.
However, you can use your career like a playground, where you exercise your purpose. My career as a head-nurse helped me to exercise how to communicate with people of different personalities, how to encourage others with different challenges and many more. I have had the opportunity to exercise humbleness and love, till they became my first name. You were created to do more in life than a 9-5hrs job! Go for it, just like I did!
4. Identifying the limitations that held me back. I had to deal away with the spirit of fear which also stole away my self-confidence. I came up with a lot of excuses as to why I never got started. Keep doing that what you fear most. ( See more in my blog-articles on perfectionism, Self-doubt, Comparison)
5. Connecting the dots. It is not in my career that I was great in, but in my art of communicating with others, my way of serving patients and my workmates, my joy in encouraging, motivating and inspiring others. This is what I love doing. When I connected them altogether, I found out that I can write inspirational articles, tell stories and make a transformation speech. “See me tapping my purpose”.
Fact is, you are here to fulfill a certain purpose. You have something greater to offer than your career. You are unique with a special gift. For God knew you, even before you were formed in your mom’s womb. Get it right! It doesn’t matter if you are as result of rape, an unwanted child, divorce-kids etc. God wanted to get you in this planet earth, with a plan to prosper you. Your how “you landed here” should not limit you, to live your purpose.
Are you living your purpose? Do you feel confused like I was? Drop me a mail and let us discuss it.
God loves you.
Yours Grace
Hallo,
I am 100% sure what came up in your mind after you have read this title. I should probably give you a credit for that. Yes, it is time for bedtime stories but just a little bit.
Well, Ladies we love to be treated with tenderness and like princesses. Right? What about us lowering our pride a little bit and frontier to treat him like a prince. Trust me, he will love it.
I have read that lioness are fiercer than lions. Have you heard about it too? “Please correct me” So, you can see that you already have the potential to drive your husband wild in your bedroom.
To remind you before I continue, God is the creator of sex and HE cares so much about your sex-life.
Today I want to share with you some simple tips with an enormous impact in your sexual-intimacy.
1. Pray for him: I had mentioned this in my earliest blog. Understand that prayer is the best weapon even as far as sexual-intimacy is concerned. Prayer brings God’s Glory in your bedroom.
2. A smile with a stare into his eyes: As simple as it is but as powerful as it can be. As you do it, let love flows out of you as you keep enlarging your smile. Think of the craziest moment you ever had together. Make it a little bit sexy. Leave him guessing why you were smiling as he craves more of you.
3. Make time for him: He is not your last-minute chores. Stop make your own assumptions that his interest is only in sex. There is the bedroom talk as well as the foreplay. Be full committed.
4. My husband’s gratitude-love journal: Men do brag about their wives. Sometimes it makes me feel shy when he talks about me, but it feels great. Make sure he has a good reason to brag about you. Make a list of the things you are grateful for, the things he does for you, even if tiny things.
5. Wearing his shirts or T-shirts. Well, I don’t know about the height of your man. My husband’s shirts look like a mini-dress on me. Try this one, it’s an effective turn on.
6. Be real and be yourself. Especially for those who are still dating or in courtship. Let him see the real you without make-ups and in your natural hair. Feel comfortable in your skin and in the way God created you to be.
7. Express loving thoughts inform of compliments. It is not only you who likes to hear a compliment. Men love it too. Check on his body and compliment him or on what he can do at his best. Consult the book of Songs of songs in the bible for more wisdom.
8. Give him that feeling that you really care and love him even when he is away at work. Text and ask him how he is doing. Bring something he loves with you from the stores. It might be an “After-8” chocolate.
I know that life can get us busy, but we must stop for a while, create time for the most important things in our life. That man in your life is not just a “somebody” but a fabulous God-given lifetime partner of yours.
Let him feel appreciated.
Share your own tips, I would like to try them out.
I love you,
yours Grace.
Hallo readers,
This article is only for imperfect people. Do you qualify? If yes, please continue reading. The rest of the perfect world can stop reading. 😉
Are you that one person who doesn’t allow a room for mistakes?
When I was growing up, I remember how one was celebrated for being the best, or for being successful. In my school time, you were also rewarded for being the top in the class. I remember how some teachers would punish those who failed in some subjects. The importance was emphasized on being the teachers best.
By then, this helped me to achieve good school academics, because my strive was in getting higher grades. However, I have realized that this had affected my life even after having cleared school. Can you understand me?
I was looking to be perfect in everything that I did. I was so sensitive to mistakes. I therefore, preferred to do only those things that I knew I was good at. I was afraid of what could happen, if I tried something new.
I hope I can speak for the many people who are struggling with perfectionism.
We all have weaknesses and strengthens. Nobody is perfect. Perfectionism is a learned pattern of living, which can, on the hand, be unlearned. Praise God!
My perfectionism got worst when I started working. These are the most difficult people to deal with. It was so hurting for my workmates and for myself as well. I couldn’t understand why others did things in a different style than mine. I mean, my style was the most perfect. “poor me by then”
Do you have such kind of workmates? Please raise a voice to God for them to be delivered out of this trap.
perfectionism will only drain your energy out.
I don’t know about you, but if there is a time that I was stuck in my life is when I was trying to be perfect. You see, you are so concerned about the results, you are afraid to fail, so, you end up not taking risks. You want to please everyone. You therefore, neglect your own thinking and your own creativity. You keep postponing things and you never get your tasks accomplished.
YOU ARE STUCK!
Parents listen, don’t support those teachers who are punishing your children for not being good at school. Today, most of those students strive to avoid experiencing this pain by indulging in perfectionism. They don’t want to be punished for not doing things perfectly, they want to avoid the pain of failing, they are unhappy and frustrated. I am still waiting for that moment where a school system that is focused in chasing talents and purposes in it’s students, to finally get legalised.
Perfectionism is life threatening! Is this what you want for your kids?
How did I get out of this trap?
Well, God jailed me in his mercy. I surrendered all to Him. His love goes beyond my limits. And there is nothing I can do, to separate me from His love, not even perfectionism. Why bother being perfect? Let this sink in your mind!
God makes us perfect in His own perfect way.
I am not here to please others, and I can’t be everybody’s darling. I realized the power of frequency. I started doing those things that I was afraid to fail in, till I had confidence to the extent of feeling comfortable even after making mistakes. Blogging is one of my example!
I have learned to step out of my own captive by believing in myself. (http://x24.one/doubts)
You are amazing the way you are. Accept yourself and love yourself the way you are. (http://x24.one/ysQG8)
Those are my top principles that helped me to deal with perfectionism.
The reason as to why I am sharing this with you is because I have a confession to make. I have lost a loved one – a friend through perfectionism. It pains me so deeply in my hurt. Fear paralysed his life and he found himself good for nothing. He finally committed suicide!
Grace is not perfect and that is not my goal either!
Share or tag a friend who need to read this article.
I love you,
yours Grace.
#perfect #perfectionism #selfLove
Hallo readers,
Tell me this could be YOU today! Somebody just reminded me of how I was coward during my school time.
For sure, I was!
This is what my inner voice kept saying to me: “I am a failure, I can’t make it, I can never be better, what will other say about me, I am not good enough, it is not my thing, I am not sure, may be,” to an endless list.
Is that what your inner voice is whispering into your ears today?
This stupid inner voice criticized me more than the half of my life. Oh God, how terrible.
And if one is not careful, self-doubt can become a part of you. You end up believing in the self-defeat prophesy about yourself.
I doubted almost everything about me. I doubted my ability to do anything, I doubted if I was admirable, I doubted even what I thought, I doubted my choices and my chances. I finally found myself getting nothing started and was so much afraid of taking risks.
The same somebody went on and asked what I did to conquer the coward-ness? “She can hardly believe it is me today” Of course, that was the un-expressed version of the person I wanted to become.
Firstly, the only “I” that exist is “ME”. Do you get it? You are a walking miracle and unique. There is no any other “YOU” that will ever exist. God who is our Father created YOU and I in His Own Image. So, we have His likeness. “let this sink in your mind”
Most of the times, self-doubt is a consequent of fear. I had to push myself to do those things that I feared most. Take a moment and think of the things you fear? What comes in your mind? We think of the outcome as a negative result, right? Overcome your fear by doing the things you fear most often. Take the skills you need to gain more self-confidence.
For my case, I realised how the opinion of others influenced my ability of living my purpose. For instance, the teachers confirmed it to me that I was not better than the student who scored 90% in one subject, just because I scored slightly above the average. So, I ended up striving to be what others expected me to be, which made me start looking for my purpose in the world.
Your purpose is your calling and it is the answer to what you feel passionate about. This can only be found in YOU and not in the world! “what do you feel passionate about?”
Don’t let this destructive feeling about yourself, hold you back from living the full expression of your great self!
I love you,
yours Grace
#Doubts #doubt #purpose #passion #passionate
I will just leave this part of my story here and I believe I will inspire you for a moment, if not for the rest of your life.
I am a class seven school dropout and a mother of four pretty kids. I wished life could be different and could have given me a chance to at least get some curriculum qualifications.
I am now thirty-three years young; do I still have the chances of a qualification? We will see at the end of my story.
I was twelve years when everything in my life turned upside down. My mum had gone through a divorce and she couldn’t afford my school fees any longer. For the love of my other four siblings, and I being the first born, my mum asked me if I could drop out of school and go get a job, in order to give her a financial support.
Mummies are human-beings we do trust the most, and as innocent as I was at an age of twelve, I agreed with her. Little did I know that this was the beginning of a messed-up life.
The chances of getting a job in the village we lived in were very slim, so, I relocated to my aunt in a bigger city with wider job opportunities. At an age of thirteen I had my first job as a house helper. “Is this not what you call child abuse today?”
How does it feel to be a teenager? I can’t remember myself going through this stage. It is like I jumped from childhood to adulthood. There was no time to discuss with my mum the changes that we’re happening, with and in my body. I mean, why were these two things on my chest growing bigger and bigger and why did I have to fight with acne? Why was this monthly bleeding at times so painful and messy? “I am sure you can picture it, if you are a woman. ”
My “Whys” went unanswered and by the age of seventeen I was already pregnant with my first kid. There is nothing I knew about parenthood nor womanhood. But I was determined to bare this child. The father of my baby seemed to be supportive and that is what this insecure young girl was longing for.
My gentleman by then decided that we should relocate from the city, to his village. This was miles away from my own village. There I was, pregnant in a strange world and married at seventeen. Moment, I was to adjust in being pregnant, marriage life and learn how to trust my new community.
Unfortunately, things became more difficult and I was in a pit-hole. The man I thought was good enough for me turned to be a beast in a human body. My days were made of struggles for survival and my nights were full of tears and pain. I guess I was too young to understand everything.
Not only was I surrounded with alcoholics but the man I lived with was also an alcoholic. He provided nothing for his family, which was now made of three kids. (Mind you, between the age of seventeen and twenty-two, I had three kids already) Working hard and doing tough jobs were normal for me, because I had started doing them since I was twelve. So, if this was the only issue, I would be okay living with it.
Regardless of what this monster did to me, I still stayed with him. He got mad over things that either didn’t exist or literally made no sense. He could beat me – drunken beatings, of course – and then forced me to sex. That pain was unbearable!
Are children made out of love? If yes, I am so sorry to say that two of my kids were as a result of a violence sex. (Allow me not to go into details now, because there are more disgusting things that I need to explore, but in another chapter)
For me, survival is a gift from God. I still can’t understand why my heart did not strike pumping.
After seven years of not being able to raise a voice, I was able to finally escape, with my seven-month old kid on my back.
Let us together shout out “freedom!”
Oh no, don’t shout it so loud because I even got deeper into my pit-hole. I wish I have the best words to explain my frustrations. I was so waiting to embrace my family again, after seven years of separation. A shock hit me when I saw my mum. She was no longer the woman I knew. My mum had turned to be a ‘hazardous drinker’ and exchanged men now and then.
I would have liked to have a direct explanation from God why my life was so a disaster. There was no a welcome-back home hug from a caring mother. Instead, she saw me and my baby as a problem, since she was going to provide for two more people in the family.
You see, I had escaped alive from a drunkard community with the hopes of a new beginning. But there I was, in an unsafe and insecure compound again.
If there is a time I thought that God was not real, it was that time.
This is how I even fell to the deepest corner of my pit-hole: I am now twenty-two years of age. I left my village to go and look for green pastures in the same city, that I had met the man who abused me for seven good years. I didn’t have another choice but to leave my baby with my every day drunkard mum.
To make the long story short, I met a good family, which offered me the chance to live with them as I helped them with some housework, and they paid me thirty Euros a month. This was a damn good deal for me. At least I could send mum money for the care of my baby.
In the meantime, I had made some friends and we would hook up over the weekends. Their life seemed to be so easy and enjoyable. I wished I could have such a life. Money was not a problem for them.
I once gathered the courage to ask them what they did, to have such a beautiful life. “My friends” were honest enough to show me how, and the kind of job they were doing. So, I was introduced to a new job.
Now I had to make a choice. A pay of thirty Euros in a month or thirty Euros in a night? Although I am a class seven-drop out, this was a simple mathematic. I resigned my monthly job and engaged myself into prostitution.
Was life now giving me a cupcake??
Of course, no, this was the dirtiest and the hardest job I ever did. I was again in the hands of uncaring men with a lot of mistreatments, forced sex for money, pain and harassments, sometimes even without a pay.
….to be continued….
Please don’t pity me. Whatever happened has happened. Right now, I am out of a pit-hole, under the shelter of God and a loving caring man on my side. Every struggle and pain that I have gone through has made my heart stronger.
This is my wish from you: please help me to pray, help me to learn how to completely forgive. I feel I still have issues with forgiveness. Also help me to pray for my mum – who is today as I write my story, – sited in the jail. Include my siblings in your prayers. God is guiding me and giving me the strength and grace to move forward.
One last word from me. Love your past, it has contributed to the person you became today. Write your story, this has helped me heal a part of my broken heart.
Do I still have the chance to get an academic qualification?
Thank you,
yours “Hope is my new name”
– narrated by “hope is my new name” – composed by Grace A.
Hallo readers,
Today marks the 14th year of my marriage. I don’t believe in a flying time, but this time around I do!
My first and foremost gratitude and credit goes to God for turning our marriage into a beautiful mess. We’ve together, during these fourteen years experienced – laughter, sadness, disappointments, success, frustrations, happiness and the list goes on and on. In short, our marriage is not perfect and it is far from being perfect.
However, I can confidently tell you that I am married to my best friend, my prayer-partner, my business-partner and to the man of my dreams. I could go on and on but instead, I want to share with you some of the principles that have helped us stay together. This could help change your own marriage.
1. Marriage is hard: Yes, it is. Every good thing in life is worth fighting for. I prefer saying marriage is challenging rather than hard. For the last fourteen years we have learned a lot from each other and about each other. “School-time was never a paradise either, so is marriage too”. We have known each other better and we have seen our imperfections. Both of you are responsible for working hard to see that your marriage works.
2. For some years back, we had put God in the stores and we picked HIM up when the TSUNAMIS came up in our marriage. This is one of the worst things you can ever do to your marriage. Your enemy takes advantages of this. Those were years of a stagnant marriage, full of stress and hurting each other. When we allowed God to lead in our marriage, we started experiencing breakthroughs and blessings after blessings. My advice to any wife reading this: prayer is a tool that every wife should owe and apply it on daily basis! It has helped me strengthen my hero and my marriage as well.
3. Would you agree with me, if I said that a poor communication is one of the top-iest reason that is breaking down marriages? Just one word used wrongly and you can cause a deep emotional pain.
At times it felt like I had married the wrong person. We had to learn how to communicate with each other. Otherwise some breakdown prognoses were in progress. Words have got the power to either build or destroy. Work on an excellent communication in your marriage. Today I have learnt to listen, and to think twice before I respond.
4. Togetherness does miracles. You both become one after you marry. When we understood this one here, each one of us exhaled “their” life and inhaled “our” life. Everything became “ours”. Spend time together and change your ways of thinking. Think like a married person, you are no longer single!
5. Supporting each other: We are not in a competition with each other. We support each other to be the best version of ourselves. We exchange words of encouragement as well as criticising each other privately. Criticising your partner in public makes them feel inferior. DO IT WHEN YOU ARE JUST THE TWO OF YOU!
These are my top five of the many principles that have helped us stay together.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t fight. We do disagree and argue on some issues, but we don’t let the sun to set down before we have discussed and solved the matter. I do hope that you can get value out of this blog and get your marriage transformed.
Don’t let money or material things be the reason as to why you married. All these things will vanish and fade away. But real love and friendship will last forever.
Happy 14th anniversary to us, you are all invited to our 100th anniversary.
More queries from my blog about marriage are:
http://grace-albrecht.com/allgemein/how-i-dealt-with-my-intermarriage-issues
http://grace-albrecht.com/allgemein/sex-is-an-important-spice-for-your-marriage
I love you,
yours Grace
This is one of the greatest saying that always look like the earth in my life, my teachers said the earth goes round. Jer29;11 Being the torch to a life I’ve lived. Each day as the sun rises when am on a high note I say,”This is the day that the lord has made “kneel besides my bed and be thankful not forgetting the lows have been many especially when I have given up on God but even in such a time I need him more and though it’s the time I have sinned most He still says in His word “come let us reason together even if my sins are as red as crimson he shall make me white as snow. “This words come easy now when I decide to breakdown those points in years.
CHILDHOOD
Birth is one event where only a mother can explain better so when one is told you were born on such a date you believe. October 14th 1994 I was born it was also at 10:00pm where a great heron in Karatina had gone to be with the maker. My mum says it was one of the best and worst nights for her, her boss was murdered and a daughter was born. She said my name was Eve meaning “life.”
A child grows at any one point, goes to school and that is the beginning of her life. I attended one of the best schools my parents would afford, however they could not understand why I could keep on falling and in school teachers would keep watch.
The part I can now remember pictures are still fresh even in adult hood is a part where a pastor had to have sex with me for days and I was told not to open my mouth. This went on for months and it happened in church. Forced to touch another girls parts and also my private part as he watched was one inhuman thing one could ever do to a kid.
Do rapists ever think of the future of a kid? I really got to answer to date. One Sunday morning I decided to tell my mum and the look on her face was that of a worried person. Perhaps at the back of her mind she asked herself many questions of how unprotective she had been of her daughter. This is a reaction of every parent if they would find out something bad happened to their kid without their knowledge.
I decide to be strong and told my mum am okay but in myself I still recalled the pain and I still do to date and it gets worse when a man I am with offends me and all I see of him is that image of the rapist silence helps and checking on them once in a while because I understand we are all human we will keep on offending one another.
Getting out of town to the upcountry is what my parents saw was good for me after reporting the case and the policemen would say this is a scam to make the pastor suffer and spoil his name. God gives the best justice I would say.
EDUCATION IN PRIMARY SCHOOL UPCOUNTRY
Education had to go on in the upcountry where I got very caring teachers and for the first time I knew how to write and started performing. The picture of what had happened seemed gone now. Comming from a Christian background in school I would now read for them the Bible and give people hope. I now became the one to lead choruses every morning at the assembly.
In class four I started having this phobia I would not seat next to a guy I would shake terribly. This was so uncomfortable and brought my esteem down. I now wouldn’t play for me not to see a guy but I made sure I talked when I was needed to especially where there was a crowd I was so active. This went on until I completed primary school. At this time the only form of comfort was masterbation with it I would sleep comfortably. This had developed from the act I was told to touch my private parts and this was exciting to the body despite not knowing what that was. Teachers then were not open of that again who would think a young rural kid would know something like that.
On completing class 8 there was this C.R.E teacher whom we used to give milk. This day I helped my brother take the milk. What the teacher would do was lock me in his house take a condom and now was ready to use it on me.I had never seen a condom that was the first time. Fear was written all over my face tears rolled the photo of the rapist again. My brother came to check where I was and on the knock of the door I knew I was well I went out and never turned back.
Men were cruel to me and a beast they looked. Everyman I saw except from family members they were rapists to me.
SECONDARY SCHOOL
Here life was at least to me I would not be seeing men it was me masterbation and God. Here I cried to God when I Knew what I had been doing was masterbation to help me stop. I would stop for weeks and then back when I was stressed up. I used to try fast for this to no avail. I took it to be a part of me.
I couldn’t concentrate in any lesson a man would be teaching am lucky I didn’t get an E in any of them. All this time for my four years I never talked to any guy and at a distance if I would see one I would cry why tears rolled I didn’t know to date.
I was made a prefect I say this made me not turn into lesbianism in school. God still loved me now I see despite all I had been through. I was harsh and reserved, often loved silence and would force my class to be silent even in weekends’ was not that social and mostly in self-pity when alone. I really hated myself because I knew I was not a virgin and the fact I wouldn’t quit masterbation and still wouldn’t tell no one. I was strong that’s the picture everyone and goodhearted to those who were less fortunate.
CAMPUS LIFE
This I must say was the experience I got to discover myself. A lady who was in fourth year told me I had to know how to survive. My parents opted to take me to a Christian institution so I knew I was safe owe unto me. When I went home I made sure I said for sure it was a church institution.
I turned to be the noisiest person in campus but it was a way of protecting myself from being haunted by guys. I didn’t know how to wear so I made sure I made it worse to keep them as far as I could. I was a bully to guys in my first year. Before I entered campus I had been hooked up to a guy who was so good hearted but we kept distance. Through this guy I was trying to see whether guys in campus were good. Let’s call him mr. adan, he was in his second year in University when I was doing my bridging.
He made sure our communication was okay and I would enjoy giving him stories but would never talk about me never did I want him to know my past. If any guy would try pursue me I would tell them I had a boyfriend whom I had never seen but that would put them off. I got into chatting with him so much and so we decided to meet in Nakuru during his Holidays. I wouldn’t imagine am sharing a bed with anyone but I swallowed my pride to see whether with him he would offer sex as the first thing.
He was so caring all I would enjoy was a shower with him and wouldn’t open my eyes. This made me abit secure I knew he meant no harm and I composed myself. Sleeping time was here I needed to sleep ooooh my I love sleep it should be a hobby I skip my supper to date so that I can sleep and I don’t need anyone to interrupt it. However I couldn’t sleep because there was someone by my side ,there is always delay to sleep I feel they are taking my place.
Sex with Adan didn’t happen until 3 months. I tried to know why people kept on talking about it as a pleasure not to stay in the hostels during the weekends. I asked for it this time and he would ask me whether am sure I needed it and I said yes. The main pencil would not write in the book for it couldn’t open not an inch and I would not bare this. The rapists pencil came to my mind and I asked him we sleep I preferred my fingers and this time I said masterbation is better than sex it has no pain and I feel good at the end.
I tried sleeping and wouldn’t face him I thought to myself I was not normal he looked to my face and said baiby its fine. At the middle of the night I woke him up and told him am ready to me there is no defeat. I closed my eyes and let him do it waaaah that was painful. A spot of blood he noted and he asked,” you mean you are a virgin? “This was a surprise I said yes and in my mind I asked how I could be one that rapist I think how he had done it I couldn’t be, I thought it to myself.
Now after I did sex not to lose a man it was painful but I kept silence. I couldn’t afford to loose this man he was good though humble we had a future laid out and we would see tomorrow something I have never seen with any guy I dated.
One day I had to tell him we had to part ways with no reason but I said I had cheated .Joe couldn’t hold this. He cried whenever he would hear my voice and ask me why I had to do it.
MODELLING
This was where I had to try boost my confidence a judge who was a friend was there we used to talk, visit each other with no feelings attached. This is the person I had cheated Adan on with. I didn’t know this was the start of another stressing part at first sex with him was not painful as such and that’s why I was in a hurry to leave Adan. With time this became fun until the second time we got in touch the situation was back.
I decided to stay this guy was hot every girl wanted to be with him. So naïve I now was I shed weight because I was stressed. I retain the weight that is positive though. The big body was gone and now I looked younger and now had to choose my clothing.
Phillip kept on criticizing my mode of clothing and I had to change to please him or I would lose him. Where were my bullying tactics? Why did I decide to close my eyes? For two years I treated this guy as a husband. I wanted marriage so much, is that really the same today? Nah I can say.
I thought I wouldn’t get another guy with my condition if I opened up I think I lied to myself so much. I ran away from God, at the same time if I saw someone suffer I would tell them there is a God in heaven. Stress time was for the day in the evening fingers would show me my way to sleep.
It’s with Phillip I knew the meaning of anger, Though I never smiled, I never knew getting angry as a headache and cause of no sleep at times when I couldn’t master bate because of yesterday’s pain.
I would leave Phillip by word of mouth not by action when i would hear he cheated. It was getting mental on my side as usual I wouldn’t tell him how he made me feel. Pity was there for him especially when I would hear he was hungry.
During my modelling time is where I got an accident and at this time I saw how life really ends. I wouldn’t scream, I whispered two things to God whom will Phillip be left with and who will give the street children food? God was there for me despite me leaving Him. Through my stay in hospital I got to learn I had to live with a scar. Phillip got his salary and left. I was now sick for seeing him he was gone and why at such a time.
It’s God who owns my life I listened to stories of the women who were in the ward and again the rapist was back as they said how their husbands treated them. I took it my duty to serve them whatever I could and also made sure they smiled. We had to pray I told them. After prayers I couldn’t sleep thinking what an unfair world it is to women.
I got out of hospital decided am going to model one last time to help the children. With a fresh scar I went on and did it. Phillip was not to give me a headache anymore.
Dec 2015 after a miscarriage I looked for a rebound, I was to do harm to myself but preserve myself for the children I asked God to save me for. I shaved my hair and that was me starting a new life.
Feb I met a new guy this time I told God this is the last time am trying and I tell the truth to this one and if it is painful I go and make him a second rebound. This new relationship was to be a last turning point, I decided not with this one am I masterbating or will I allow images of a rapist come to me anymore.
In my knees I fell for the first time after a long time. I took my phone wrote to pastor x a text and later texted this guy.George was his name. I got confidence that I never had. We met and started off with sex it was not painful. I can say with him for two days I gave a genuine smile but I knew we weren’t going far when communication started being one sided.
I waited for any change and remembered I got him through prayer but never retained the praying mode.
I cried when things went astray, tried praying but had no strength. Back to masterbation and old drinking buddies. This was comforting as I awaited to be told it’s over. In his house I had a hint it was over and him talking was just a song to me words I was used off and I knew it was a lie.
It’s on Sep when the words I awaited came out of his mouth. I remembered three dreadlocks in his dreams. I never felt close to God like this day. Words that would come out of my mouth are thank you. Weeks later I lost his kid whom I had decided to be silent about. I used to wake up at days of pregnancy with a Bible and just say let Gods will be done.
His going was a way to let God back to my life, I now could express myself through letters to God. I could watch one movie all through “war room”. I look at the prayers in the book and see God has been faithful.
With time I saw God was not hearing me and as back to masterbation. I made a promise to myself never to be in a relationship again. Noone would kiss my scars like Martin did, no one would make me for once not see a rapist like martin did and no one would ever hold my hand like martin did .
In my heart I decided I would make Phillip suffer like he did and with courage I did. Getting pregnant again for him and realizing the baby couldn’t live changed my life this year and silence and living right is all I would do.
THE WAIT
Worth the wait 26th seal is what I said on January. Masterbation ended slowly. God renews me each new day, I still miss George coz am human, he was just a bridge to finding me and all I give is a call.
At times I wish he came at such a time, this are just the plans of man Gods plan are always the best Singleness has been fun so far and letters to a mysterious person fill the gap of loniliness.Work has become a passion and writing a hobby as I read. Life has a new meaning for I know where I want to be. It’s never now about us it about I. Got a phobia of men still and I really escape a conversation that is about relationships, though I write letters to a mysterious person sex is not something I wanna do anymore unless God chooses another for me and this time he has to fit to celibacy, God-fearing and loving for him to live with me.
For sure it has been a journey of self-acceptance, need of patience and knowing am nothing without God.
-written by Eve-
Hallo readers,
The today’s date is quite interesting, isn’t it? It’s the 07.07.2017. It has three SEVENs in it but I can see Four..
To me today is a very important day in my life and I feel a powerful desire to share with you my WHY.
Today being the 07.07.2017, it marks the seventh year since I lost the most important woman in my life – my mommy. So, the date today symbolizes 4 SEVENs in it to me. Ooh 7 is one of my best number.
I don’t have enough words to explain how it feels having lost somebody closest to you. This is one of the hardest moments to go through in life.
Anyone there understanding me?
So, like the saying goes, “The apple does not fall far from the tree, my mommy was the most inspiring person I ever met. She was full of love, kindness and a heart of giving. She could bring strangers form the road with her at home, and gave them food, money, clothes, even to the extent of hospitality. Her deepest empathy for others gave her the nickname “Tabitha”.
Mommy, I do hope you can see the lady I turned to be.
You sacrificed your life to give your seven kids the best. (again another 7 comes in.) Through your efforts and the help from God, you turned your family from zero to hero. You are one the many precious gifts that God ever gave us.
Sometimes I do wish you can come back again and laugh with me like you did over the phone.
Nevertheless, I trust that you went to be with the Lord and that you are in a better place.
Is death not like any other process in life, that should be openly talked about?
Unfortunately, we hate to talk about death but it’s guaranteed that one day, you and I will die. People are dying now and then, and right this very minute. We even don’t want to think about it.
However, after every loss we are hurt so painfully. One loss will never prepare us not to grieve
for the next loss.
Mommy, since death robbed you from us, my life (though it took a while to heal) changed completely. I know that my life is not my own alone and I am not here to stay forever. My life is a gift from God and I appreciate living every day.
You could be reading this and you have perhaps lost a loved one. Regardless of how related you were to that person, death is disgusting and painful.
But listen, blessed are those who grieve for they shall be comforted. God is willing to heal your broken heart. Lean on God, let Him wipe every tear from your eyes. I can encourage you with words but God will give you an inner peace that I can never give you.
Mommy, the fact that God has healed my heart does not mean that I don’t miss you. I sometimes have got those days where I just want to call you just to hear your voice again.
And mommy, my husband misses your delicious chicken which you brought with you at the airport when we came home.
Thank you so much for teaching me how to inspire others mommy.
As I make this last full stop, tears are running down my chicks because I miss you so much.
But I can still afford a smile on my wet face.
God is my refuge and my strength.
I love you,
yours Grace.
